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Knight Time (Attitude)
It's been ten years since Miss Beverley Knight burst onto the British soul
scene with the underground urban smash Flavour Of The Old School. Now, if on
Planet Pop, that's a lifetime, let's not even get into British Black Music.
Hindered by out of touch record execs and a public enthralled to the mighty
global marketing of US R&B, UK black music has always been dismissed as
a poor cousin. All the more impressive then that Beverley has not only just
stuck around but flourished with hits like Made It Back, Greatest Day and Get
Up. Now on her fourth album, Affirmation, she takes it to a whole other level,
mixing pop, R&B, rock, and gospel into a commercially deft, emotionally
charged collection of self-written tunes. And this, remarkably, following one
of the darkest periods of her life with the AIDS-related death of her closest
friend, Tyrone. Attitude met Beverley to talk about dealing with love, loss
and finding her way back again.
Come As You Are is a storming comeback single - it deserves to be a
smash. On first impression it sounds like quite a change of direction from what
people expect from you.
Good! I want people to do a double take, that's good. I think at first it might
seem totally, totally so far away from what I'm best known for, but then if
you took off all the guitars and replaced them with keyboards, it's right back
to where you'd expect. It all comes down to the song in the end.
It's also rather rude. That line "I want a friendly face inside a cool,
dark place"...
Oh yes, that's my saucy side. There's another line - "This is a brand
new dress, don't want to make no mess" - I'm sure Attitude readers can
work that one out for themselves!
It's been a few years since your last album, Who I Am. Have you been
working on the new album since then?
I guess I started writing for this album back in 2002, when I was doing all
the live festivals, grabbing any free minute I had to start scribbling away.
I must have written 50 songs in all for this album. Then I hit a wall at the
beginning of 2003. It was probably the worst time in my whole life I couldn't
pick up a pen, I couldn't do anything, and so when I finally got myself together,
around April last year, that's when it all came - one after the other, all at
once.
Do you think, in an odd way, that going through emotional upheavals
help you with your songwriting? I know Shoulda Woulda Coulda was about a difficult
breakup.
Yes, it's true. Things change you. After Tyrone died, everything took on a
new meaning. I started to look at everything from another perspective, and the
songs just came out, they really did, just came pouring out of me. And as much
as it was hard, that pull of emotion - one minute feeling so bereft and desperate,
then the next minute looking back and laughing at some dumb thing we did together
- I guess it put me in the frame of mind where I needed to get it all out and
down on paper.
Where did you meet him? A gay bar?
No, it was in Zen Gardens. This skinny, grinning boy came up to me saying "I
think you're great, I want to meet and talk to you about doing Pride, and obviously
I'm going to have your number." And I was like, "who the hell is this
saying he's going to get my number?" But something about him completely
intrigued me. He introduced me to his friends, and I watched him interacting
with them and I thought he's actually lovely. And I never would give my number
out willy nilly, but I said "here's my number and give me a call".
The next day he phoned and we arranged to meet for lunch at (Soho gay cafe/bar)
The Edge and we ordered some food and started talking and then, 4 hours later
(laughing)... and that was it we just talked about everything - sexuality, being
black, being British, Naomi Campbell - it was brilliant. And that was the beginning
of one of the most important relationships of my life.
You and Tyrone became flatmates very quickly, within a couple of months,
right?
Yeah, it was pretty quick. He got ill within a few weeks of me meeting him
and had to go to hospital, and there was problems with his flat, and the people
he was living with had to move out - this was all going on while he was in hospital,
bless him. He was trying to keep it from me, and I was like "what's wrong?
What's wrong?". Eventually he told me and I said, (laughs) "oh well
- problem solved isn't it - get your stuff and come stay at my house".
It just felt like the most normal thing in the world. And that was it.
How long were you together?
It was about... let me think... it's only 18 months at the most, but it felt
like 10 years anyway. (laughs)
It seems like there's quite a few songs on the album inspired by him,
specifically Remember Me and No One Ever Loves In Vain.
Yes. Remember Me came out in just one day, and we actually tried to record
it in the studio but nothing ever matched the rawness, I guess the truth of
the demo, so that ended up on the album. As for No One Ever Loves In Vain...
sometimes you meet people who are very special and teach you new things about
yourself and your life. That's how it was with me and Tyrone, and not just me
- my friends, my family. They loved him, loved him. He and my Mum used
to have talks 'til 3 in the morning about what it was like to be gay and at
the end she said "I get it now, I understand". You see, there's always
a reason people come into your life.
I think once people are willing to really open up and talk they can
always connect on a basic human level and realise how ridiculous prejudice is.
Sure. I mean most folk, most straight folk, think you can just watch Queer
Eye for the Straight Guy and understand the gay experience! You can have members
of your family who are gay and you don't know because they don't conform to
those narrow stereotypes.
It's really frustrating to be but into a box about who you should be,
based on your sexuality or race or whatever.
Exactly - that's how I feel as a black person. I very much embrace who I am
- my femininity, my sexuality, everything about me - and racially who I am -
culturally a black woman with West Indian roots. But I'm not identikit black
Britain. And I won't speak for black Britain - I'll speak for me. And
when you're a minority, people take you on mass, so they rely heavily on stereotypes.
And it's very frustrating which is why with this album, more than any, I'm really
trying to assert my individuality. That's why Come As You Are is the first song,
so people can think "I thought I knew her".
And since when were songs about shaking your booty over hip hop tracks
all black women could do anyway?
Exactly. I want a multi-faceted album, so that musically you can see I'm all
kinds of things, and lyrically I'm all kinds of things, and culturally as well.
I really hate that whole thing of people looking at me and saying "ok,
she's black she's female, she's British, therefore she probably sings this,
eats this, goes out with this or that". They think they've got the whole
thing sussed - but I'm like "no you don't!" (laughs).
Back to what you were saying about No One Ever Loves In Vain...
I guess the point is when love comes into your life it can affect you in such
a dynamic way. I had never experienced bereavement before Tyrone, not on that
personal level. I never knew what it was like to have my world shaken to it's
foundations like that. But it wasn't for nothing you know. My Mother is now
volunteering for Christian Aid, working with young people with HIV and AIDS,
and that would never have happened without Tyrone, without his life and his
influence. My boyfriend recently ran the London Marathon to raise money for
Terence Higgins. So there's always a reason for it. We just never know at the
time why. It proves that love was never in vain.
You're a believer in destiny then, everything happening for a reason?
Absolutely. Everything. When I look at my career, people wonder why I haven't
blown up big yet. But I think nothing happens before it's due time. And there's
a reason it's taken 10 years for me to get musically to this point. I'm more
comfortable with myself now than I have ever been in my life. I've loved and
lost a few times now. Maybe this is my time. It feels like this is my time.
Attitude Magazine (June 2004)
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